Short Term Goal

Well, I now have a new short term goal. My Husband and i have made plans to go to indiana for thanksgiving this year. We are going to be gone for nine days. We will leave here Friday night before thanksgiving and get there Sat. morning. We will leave the kids there with my family either Sunday night or Monday morning and head to the Quad Cities in illinois, iowa to visit some of my husbands family and Jennifer's grave. I have set a tentative goal to be down around 200 pounds before we leave. So that gives me about three and a half months to lose roughly 25-30 lbs depending on how much i've lost so far. i think i can manage that, and anything extra that i manage to lose will just be an added bonus, right?? I have some jeans that i bought the last time i had lost a significant amount of weight. I believe they are size 17's. I'm gonna try to scrounge up a shirt that doesn't fit and put them on tomorrow and post some pics up on here. i'm hoping to be able to look good in THAT outfit before we leave for our trip. I could wear the jeans tight before when i was around 210, so that shouldnt' be a problem. It will just give me some added incentive.

Hubby bought pizza for the fam tonight.. I made him get me a subway sandwich.. on wheat.. no cheese thank you very much.. i think he has an idea that i'm still trying to lose weight, but i don't think he realizes how much he hurt my feelings. I didn't get to do much exercise today. Took the kids for a walk this afternoon but with six kids and two of them that insist on being carried i don't get a whole lot of cardio exercise. I'm gonna hit the track bright and early in the morning though.. Oh yeah!! I haven't had a soda in 2 days!!!!

I wish i could get some sleep at night. My body is so programmed for working nights that i just can't seem to get out of the habit, and i know that's not good for me either, but i just don't know how to get back in the swing of things. i just simply do not function until after twelve o'clock in the morning. I have got to get out of it though because starting Aug 19 the kids start back to school and with anna starting pre-k i have to take her to school and sign her in every morning, so i need to be up and showered and not looking like a hobo befroe they have to go to school. lol. Guess i'm gonna go try to get some sleep so until tomorrow.....

Exercise, Buffet, and Will Power

Well last night I made it to the track again with my two oldest girls. The did races and climbed on the bleachers while I walked. I did my first mile in 23 minutes. I began my second and tried running one of the curves. I guess its been long enough since I've been exercising that I'm just not ready for the running part yet. Kind of discouraging but I know in time I will be able to. So anyway I did my second mile in 22 minutes. Not so bad for someone who weigha 231 lbs. Huh?

As far as diet goes I've been doing really well. Drinking much more water and still have had no white flour pasta or potatoes. I've also cut back on how much I eat at a time when I eat. So my hubby outta the blue tonight decides to take us to golden corral to eat. Ugh! Right. I'm thinking to myself I'm gonna ruin all I've accomplished so far. Then I tried to justify my thoughts by telling myself its expensive and we don't get to come here often...all my old excuses. Yes I ate a little more than I have been but I had no pasta no potatoes and nothing fried. And I do have to say I probably ate half of what I used to. I did allow myself desert but it was like a half a piece of apple pie with maybe a half a cup of sugar free fat free yogurt on top. Lemme tell you it may not be perfect but that's a miracle for me. And I don't feel that I ruined my diet so much that I have to quit now.

I'm actually a little anxious now to go get on a scale but I want to try to wait at least a month and just keep up with what I'm doing. Can't wait to see the results.

So Far So Good

So its tues afternoon. I'm doing pretty good so far. I don't know when ill get to weigh myself again but I plan to wait a while so that I don't get too discouraged.I went to a meeting with my husband last night where they served cake. As good as it looked I managed to stay away from it. I've managed to cut white flour and most sugars. I must say I've done much better on my water consumption also. Still not where I should be but better and I've cut down to one can of soda a day. I decided I quit easier and quicker when I cut everything at once so I'm trying to take it in slower steps this time.

My short term goal....to be able to fit back in my 16 17 jeans when cooler weather hits...bout 2 months from now.

Long term...I'm not gonna set a size or weight but I want to feel comfortable wearing a bathing suit next summer.

Each person looks diff in diff sizes so since I haven't been below a 16 in as long as I can remember I can't imagine what weight or size I would feel good at.

I've cut back on work and no longer babysit other kids so when school starts I will only have my 2 year old at home. I plan on walking walking and more walking. Until then I want to go back to the track and take my oldest girls with me. They would have fun. Needless to say my stepdaughter quit on me. I guess I expected that and I always use what other people don't do as a reason that I can't do it either. So lame I know but we all have our excuses until we finally decide we've had enough.

I just want to be able to hide my weight loss until its a significant amount and theb buy something new and plan a dinner or something with my husband so that I can wear it and rub in his face that I CAN do it! With or without his support. Ant suggestions on hiding weight loss besides wearing baggy clothes? I dunno he's not home that often so may not be that hard.

Anyway... This site is more for my personal encouragement than anything but this time I'm determined!!!!

2 months later

Okay so its been almost 2 months and I hate to say not only did I fall off the wagon but I must have chewed on the tires when I fell cause I have gained almost 5 more pounds! Ugh. I feel like such a failure. I was so stoked about finally losing this weight.

Anyway I started my whole diet thing again yesterday. I have a friend that has lost 60 pounds in the last 6 months. I was showin my husband pics of her then and now and all he could say was ok so I asked him if that was all he would say if I did that. He just shrugged and said "u never stick with it anyway"! Wow what's the point right? I wanted to look good for him thinking he might actually act like he was attracted to me if I lost weight. So I guess I've decided to do it to spite him. I'm not gonna say another word to him. I'm gonna eat my lovely healthy food go for my walks and act like nothing is changing. I'm a very stubborn person when someone makes me mad and tells me I can't do something. Maybe this time ill make some headway. For me not him. Wish me luck