SERIOUSLY!!!!!

Well, i got on the scale this morning and was extremely dissapointed. My weight has been fluctuating, from 4 to 2 lbs down.. This morning.... I was a lb up!! What the Crap!! In my defense, this weekend, since last thursday night has been absolute hell! I worked Wed. night.. got home, laid down for an hour, got up to take kids to school, came home and took a nap with my two year old. I woke up to several calls on my phone that my dad had been taken by ambulance to the hospital.. he was okay, just had bad kidney stones, but he had bills due that day, so i had to go run some errands for him. In the end of running errands, i get a frantic phone call from my friend/neighbor saying that her husband is performing CPR on her mother. These people are basically family. My kids call them aunt and uncle and her mom and dad are grandma and grandpa. They are always here for bdays, cookouts, or a lot of times just to hang out and play cards, so they are really much more than friends.. So anyway, the paramedics get her back, barely, and rush her to hospital. They decide she is basically brain dead and want to withdrawl support, so we wait until friday night to withdrawl because they were waiting on another child to come in from iowa. Minutes before withdrawling, her husband has chest pain and gets admitted to the hospital... so we ended up moving her upstairs to a larger room and he was in icu friday and most of saturday. They finally let him out sunday around noon. We attended church sunday morning where they prayed for God to either let her go or heal her, as she had been fighting since fri night when they took her off of support. Our pastor came and prayed with the entire family in her room about 3:45 sunday afternoon. We were getting the kids rounded up around 4:30 to head home and get ready for school today and she passed right before we walked out the door.

It sucks, but i know she is in a much better place. I have to give myself credit, because for basically living at the hospital and doing fast food and pizza and cafeteria food, i did watch what i ate, but obvioulsy there was no time for exercise. I plan to get back in the groove today and just pray that i get some kind of results by the weigh in next month.

Thank Goodness for fresh starts!!

Okay honestly...I did do great over the holiday wkend but tues and wed were absolutely horribly. No matter what I ate I couldn't satisfy the hunger. And I missed sodas sooo bad. I've found its not the caffeine or sugar or even a particular soda that gets me. I like the carbonation. I found a wal mart brand flavored carbonated water that has no calories no sugar and no sodium. I finally found something I can have a little of and not beat myself up over it!!! So starting in the morning I am keeping a food diary and sticking to 1800 calories a day and starting back on my walking stroller or no stroller. Ill just keep dragging the wagon until I can get one. Thx to all the gals who have encouraged and inspired me and also motivated me to do better so I can kick some butt!!!

Crappy Day

So although i did awesome over the holiday weekend and watched what i ate, and still walked 2 miles every day, today is just one of those days.... i don't feel like doing anything and i want to eat everything in sight.. i hate these days. i wish i could just crawl in bed and sleep it away. (at least then i wouldn't be eating lol..) I know we all have those days so i know i'm not the only one struggling with it, it's just sooo frustrating.

Y can't i sleep???

So it's like four o'clock in the morning and i CANNOT sleep. This is like the third night in a row now. I go to bed early, and i've been getting up at six, and not taking naps, and still i cannot get any rest.. so discouraging. Anyone have any ideas not involving meds??

i've been doing good on exercise. Have been walking every day (sorry, can't run yet) and i've been keeping myself busy so i don't eat everything in sight. i'm the type that eats simply becaue i'm bored. Such a bad habit.

This weekend has already proven to be a challenge. We have already done two cookouts... I have managed to limit what i eat, no buns, no potato salad, and i made hubby cook chicken breast so i could stay away from all the juicy fatty red meats.. lol.. This morning is donut day at church. They have donuts the first sunday of every month. I have a cup of yogurt i plan to eat instead, but the donuts smell soooo good. My 8 yr old daughter is getting baptized this morning so i'm pretty excited about that too.

I'm already seeing a change on the scale and it's nice to see the numbers go down. Just pray i can stick with it and see a pretty good change come the first of next month. Just gotta keep on keepin on..

First Official Day So Far

i have to say i feel i've done pretty well so far for my first day. I got up at six, got kids ready for school, took them and got home a little b4 eight. I put my 2 year old in her wagon, and went walking on the road in front of our house. Walked for about a half an hour, then had to get ready to go BACK to the school for a meeting.

I did a calculation thing on some website to figure out just how many calories i need to be eating to keep up with my weight and exercise. I was thinking a maximum of 1500... I was shocked to find that based on my weight, height, age, and assuming 5 days of exercise, they recommend i do almost 2000 calories for weight loss, and 1856 for extreme weight loss!! Wow.. here it is over halfway through the day and i've only burned 580 calories.. and honestly... i'm not hungry.. so it's going to take a little playing around with to balance fruits and veggies with all the other GOOD stuff that i need to be eating but still stay within the range that they recommend i eat. It is true that if you don't eat enough calories your body will take everything that you consume and store it for fear of starvation. I've known that since anatomy class in college, i just never could figure out where the fine line would be drawn. Trial and Error i guess.. that's all i've got.

I have consumede almost my daily required intake on water already. i bought these nifty little 32+ oz bottles of water with a flip top lid.. Makes it more handy to keeep by when i'm doing housework whatever, plus it doesn't seem like i'm drinking as much water as 8 glasses. 2 of those bottles and i'm good for the day. I have yet another meeting at the school tonight but sometime tonight i want to go walking again. Hubby has bowling league so maybe after he gets home.. We'll see. It's been a good day so far, hope all the rest go as well.

First Weigh In

Okay my story is kinda awkward also although it doesn't involve fighting with my camera. I figure as long as i'm going to have the camera in hand each time i weigh it will be zeroed in so it will still show where i lost the weight... but.. my camera isnt' that heavy..





Anyway... I go to wal mart at ten oclock tonight to buy my scale cause i don't have one and i'm all psyched about getting started on this thing... First i have to spend more than i told my husband i would but i figured it would be okay... Then on the way home i start wondering if these things come with batteries.. I sure didn't think to check that. So i get home, decide i'm going to weigh nude, check to see if it has batteries (it does), then i go to find me some jammies to put on after i weigh... I get in the bathroom off the master bdrm, strip down with cam in hand, then realize i forgot a frickin pen... and of course i can't find one in the bdrm.. so here i go traipsing around looking for a pen buck naked.. LOL.. Found a pen, went to go step on the scale, had the cam ready..... THE SCALE DOESN"T WORK!!!!! I'm ready to throw it, cuss out wal mart, you name it, so i put cam down, flip the thing over, and the people that put it together had put the piece the battery touches in backwards.. so here i am sitting in the middle of the floor naked fixing the scale... not a pretty sight... but anyway, i fixed it, all was well, and i got my weight...however horrible it is, i got it, so here is my first official weigh in...

A Whopping 228.2 lbs. At least i can look forward to that number going down. I wish well to all and i appreciate all the support i have already gotten. I am so glad i got drug into this thing.

Intro to Competition

Okay, about the only person in this competition that knows me at all is Karilynn. I am basically a stay at home mom of five, with 6 more step children. We currently have 5 living with us and are trying to get custody of my hubby's 11 yr old. The other children are grown, except one who is 15 and chose to go live with his mother... i work in the PICU at arkansas childrens hospital. I was weekend night option for almost two years.. I just recently went zero based, so i only have to work 16 hours a month to keep my position, but i can sign up for any hours. Generally if they don't need me in the unit they will pull me to another unit within the hospital where they are short staffed.

I have been overweight for as long as i can remember.. When i got married the first time at 17 i weighed 170. Looking back, i would give anything to weigh that now. (even though my goal is btw 130-145.) I put on weight with each kid and justified my horrid eating with the lovely phrase "i'm eating for two". Well, i definitely got two of me. I have yo yo'd dieted many times and the most i have lost is down to 205 about two years ago. I super apologize but i have not yet gotten my scale. Money is pretty tight right now and i have no scale in the house, let lone a digital scale. I am hoping to run to wal mart tonight or tomorrow and try to find a cheap one so i can post my first weight on here.

I'm not really sure exactly what my plan is right at the moment.. .More physical activity is a definite, and cutting out sugar and white floor is also a definite.. I will WATCH calories, but i'm not so sure that i am going to be like i HAVE to eat this many each day... we'll see how it goes. Support... I basically have none.. My hubby is always telling me i'm not going to stick with it anyhow.. etc... so he doesn't even give it a thought when i tell him i'm going to try to lose weight. Just kinda brushes it off and waits on me to give up again. I'm planning on this time being different, especially since i will have support. Obviously my life is kinda hectic, and prolly will be even more so in the next coming month because we are trying to get a new mobile home and get it moved onto our land.. so with signing paperwork, moving the trailer in and getting it set up and water and electric run.. septic put in, etc... it's gonna be pretty busy, but i will check messages and update as often as i can. I look forward to making new friends and finally losing all this weight and feeling like a person again. :)